You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
