from now on my penis is your penis
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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