Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
