"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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