you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
