Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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