i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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