im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
