Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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