If i could tip my vagina, i would.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
