Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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