K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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