I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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