The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
