we have officially lost it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
