How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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