you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize