why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
