Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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