I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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