i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
