I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
