trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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