This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
