Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
