Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
should my penis look like a turkey
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
