i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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