Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
