And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
