so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
no, he came in my armpit
ugly people sure do ruin things
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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