I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
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