my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
