you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
home. puking in laundry basket.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize