this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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