I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize