dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
