If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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