How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
