i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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