so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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