I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
