I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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