meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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