I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
only if we run a train.
done.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
