If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
