I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
