Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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