My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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