if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
