careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I have aggressive nipples.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
