It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
