Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I will be naked everywhere
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
