Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
