that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
