Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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