How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
