I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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