The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
