the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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