I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
