I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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